Well, here we go again, trying to put my ideas out there — not on paper, but in writing, at least. I've been reading books about randomness and decision-making. I started with Thinking in Bets by Annie Duke, then Fooled by Randomness by Nassim Taleb, then The Black Swan, also by Taleb, and I just started Antifragile, also his. This guy is interesting — he might sound like a pompous asshole, but I can tell he reads a lot and thinks a lot, and in the end he dismisses a lot of so-called experts. I find myself agreeing with most of what he's saying, pretty much everything about the world being just random — that there are a lot of things that are impossible to predict, and even impossible to determine the magnitude of the impact they'll have on us.
So yeah, I'm still reflecting on that, and trying to figure out what I can do in my own life to embrace this randomness. I have to admit I'm a little afraid of uncertainty — I always have been. I always need to know what's gonna happen next before I make a decision. But I don't think the world works like that. I've just been lucky, up until this point in my life. I've lived this life painted by the numbers, doing what I'm supposed to be doing: going to school, getting a degree, getting a job, buying a house. Everything has been the most predictable, vanilla, average thing that everyone can do. I mean, I'd like to think I've worked hard too, so it's not just luck — it's hard work. But I've also benefited from what I'd call a very controlled environment, and I know it's not always gonna be that way.
I have certain goals and a desire to grow out of this, but at the same time, I don't, because life is good — I can't complain. And I'm not gonna just try to follow a trend of wanting more, or try to do what everyone's supposed to do, or enjoy life the way everyone says it should be done. I'm not gonna fall for the enticing thing social media has going, of having to live life in some certain amazing way. But at the same time, I feel like I could do more, on my own terms, in the way I want. I feel like I've been too safe, maybe, and that's maybe why I feel like, day by day, I'm just becoming fatter and lazier and dumber, and I don't like that. I mean, I'm still working, I'm still breathing, I'm still taking a walk every morning — but maybe I need more than that. More than the safe routine. Who knows.
Anyway, that's my ramble for today. I'll have to figure out how to use AI to automate the posting of this without it being watermarked, I guess, because AI — Claude, or whatever — is doing that these days. But I don't want my text watermarked. I spoke these words. Maybe the transcribing is gonna be automated, but this is me.